"Memorial benches: 'A quiet reminder of people gone, but not forgotten'" Extracts from an article

"Veterans, friends and family come to sit on a bench in Bognor Regis to pause, reflect and remember serviceman Danny Johnston.

A simple plaque tells of his premature death, at the age of just 35.

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"We get comfort from it being here. Knowing he is not forgotten means so much to me," says his grieving mum Viv Johnston.

"I hope this bench will be here for a long time after I am, and I hope that people will remember Danny, because he was a truly marvellous person.

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"Local veterans come here when they are feeling down. It is a peaceful place to sit and think," she says...

The bench is very unusual. Not many park benches will feature the lead characters of Danny's favourite film, The Blues Brothers. The story of its commission, however, is typical of the many thousands of memorial benches across the UK.

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She hopes it stays in Hotham Park for many years, pointing out there is no option to take it home when you live in a first-floor flat with no garden.

For other grieving families, the installation of a dedicated bench may only prove to be a temporary monument. Individual councils set their own rules for benches and other memorials to loved ones. Many only guarantee their position and maintenance for 10 years after which they may be taken away, replaced, or owners asked to collect them.

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Fundraising websites are awash with appeals for money to erect benches in a loved one's memory, but the cost can sometimes be prohibitive.

At the top end, at Birmingham's Botanical Gardens, a bench for 10 years with a plaque displaying up to 10 words costs £2,500. Some councils with stretched budgets and high demand for this service have doubled prices, or closed applications for popular spots.

These benches have critics, particularly in popular coastal sites. The head of the National Trust in Jersey sparked a furious debate in 2018 when he said it was crucial that beauty spots did not turn into graveyards with the proliferation of dedicated seats.

They also have enthusiastic supporters, using the place to sit and talk to tackle loneliness or as a way to highlight a particular charity or cause.

A few, like open technology enthusiasts Terence and Liz Eden, are preserving their legacy through websites and blogs. The couple designed and built Open Benches, a mapping site that allows people to upload pictures of benches in their area. To date, more than 15,000 have been added to the site, the vast majority of which are in the UK.

The plaques they chart are often sad, deeply personal, sometimes uplifting and occasionally funny.

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Terence says memorial benches are a "low-cost, low-effort way to learn about our community"... One visitor described delving into the database as "like [mobile treasure hunt-style game] Pokemon but for benches".

It has revealed that plaques are more likely to be dedicated to wives and mothers than husbands and fathers. The common phrases are: "in loving memory", "in our hearts" and "who loved this…[place/view etc]".

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"When someone dies, your relationship with them does not disappear. A traumatic death, something sudden or at the end of a long drawn out illness, can be at the forefront of your mind. A bench can help someone remember the good and joyous times alongside what might have been a very difficult ending," says Andy Langford, chief operating officer for Cruse Bereavement Care.

"One lady told us a bench sometimes gave her comfort - a sense of peace and closeness to her husband, but sometimes she would go there and be able to have a cry and remember how much she misses him. Both are healthy parts of the grieving process."

..."- Memorial benches: 'A quiet reminder of people gone, but not forgotten', Written By Kevin Peachey BBC News

Part 2. Monument Research

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